It is so true what people say.
In many conversations with friends and other people, they have all said that in life things seem to fall into place. This week I have talked online with my closest friend about the relevance of a relationship to life. We agreed that a partner is almost a marker to one's living skills, as we are to our partner's achievements. I think this can be widened to one's friends and people who you have contact with in life - maybe not for long, but who affect your own acceptance of life and sometimes we do the same for others.
I have been very weak willed about starting the serious reading for my degree, even reading fiction when I know I shouldn't be taking the book off the bookshelf! However, I am glad that I did. One character spoke about his unwillingness to give some household linen to his daughter becuase she didn't have the same pride in using these things as his dead wife did.
That one sentence hit home rather hard - recently I have been hoarding many things of my mother's and I suddenly realised that I have been almost trying to live times through her and forgetting my own feelings about many items and occasions.
Suddenly today I can face putting her things to one side, the things that were left after her death were not her cherished items, she gave those all to us before she died - some of them, many years ago. And she also told me not to be so sentimental about 'stuff'.
Her real messages are at last coming through to me - live life in the best way that you judge at the time, don't live by other people's expectaions, consider them but make your own judgements.
So, I have collected 6 huge sacks of stuff for recycling, I am going to get the bathroom sorted out (yes, these decisions have not been made in my emotional fog), and I am not going to slob in front of any old television programme, do I wnat to finish this degree? Yes?
Well then I will.
I have been very weak willed about starting the serious reading for my degree, even reading fiction when I know I shouldn't be taking the book off the bookshelf! However, I am glad that I did. One character spoke about his unwillingness to give some household linen to his daughter becuase she didn't have the same pride in using these things as his dead wife did.
That one sentence hit home rather hard - recently I have been hoarding many things of my mother's and I suddenly realised that I have been almost trying to live times through her and forgetting my own feelings about many items and occasions.
Suddenly today I can face putting her things to one side, the things that were left after her death were not her cherished items, she gave those all to us before she died - some of them, many years ago. And she also told me not to be so sentimental about 'stuff'.
Her real messages are at last coming through to me - live life in the best way that you judge at the time, don't live by other people's expectaions, consider them but make your own judgements.
So, I have collected 6 huge sacks of stuff for recycling, I am going to get the bathroom sorted out (yes, these decisions have not been made in my emotional fog), and I am not going to slob in front of any old television programme, do I wnat to finish this degree? Yes?
Well then I will.
posted by Liz at 13:20
6 Comments:
My parents are both alive, so I cannot imagine the turmoil that you have been through and must still go through. It sounds though like this clearing out of items will help you to move past the old so that you can get on with the new. I wish you all the best with this.
Well done - although really hard to do. Your mum sounded really wise.
One of the things that really gets me down about all the "stuff" we seem to have collected is that one day our poor kids are going to have to sort through it all and dispose of sackfuls. I'm trying very much to keep a tight reign on it - if it isn't used or doesn't make me smile then it's gone. Well... except for all the boxes in the loft we haven't sorted through yet 'just in case' they're ever useful... *sigh*.
AMEN Pewari!
How can you throw away things like lego and playpeople, books that you've spent hours of your life reading and re-reading to your kids? I am just not that tough! But I am gettin gbetter at chucking out the real stuff that does not deserve to see the next millennium!
Ah, but they pass the smile test, Liz, so they get kept :)
This is brilliant Pewari! I am off to sort the bathroom!
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