I will come clean here
The only down side to my recent trip to New York was arriving back home and realising that I couldn't ring mum and tell her all about it.
We said at her funeral that we all talked to her about many different matters and I think this is what I am missing most, its those silly moments that we used to laugh about so much together that provide me with the tearful sessions. However, I am working my way down the poem - I smile that she has lived; I am opening my eyes to see all that she has left; with my garden starting to grow again that is now especially evident. The bulbs that we ordered together and planted up are now coming out. A superficial level of seeing what she left, but no less poignant. I need to work on being full of the love that we shared, that is a difficult mountain to climb and I'm not there yet.

Another thing
I would like to see are those terraces in the far east where they grow rice. I just have this - probably silly, notion that the green-ness would be a faulous shade to see. Not that it can beat the snowdrops and daffodils that are out in the garden at the moment. Its snowing in New York so it will probably snow here next week - I think they may need little umbrellas to protect them. It s traditional with hellebores after all!!

It has arrived.
'It' being the brown envelope that all schools dread, the friendly warning from Ofsted that they are visiting your school in the near future. We are a small village school that has had a disastrous past three years, five different acting heads etc etc. Consequently they have been in a 'failing school' - not bad enough for special measures, but bad enough for the county to be putting lots of training into the staff- most of whom are leaving.... DOH!
Oh well, be prepared for a boring few months here, I shall be dusting things, displaying things, squeezing items of work out of children and then some!
I must buy in the gin and cranberry juice in bulk. What time does Sainsbury's close and will you buy me some more cranberry juice please Harriet?

Here's another..
I would love to see the Sydney Opera House and go to a performance there. Modern architecture has thrown some lovely buildings up - the Lowry Gallery in Manchester is superb and I love visiting it, the fact that they change the displays quite frequently also helps. In fact I would love to be a fly on the wall of an artist and see how they work. I am a very simple person and see things as they are - to be able to plan colours and shapes layers away must be fantastic.
At the other extreme I want to spend more time in the desert, my short visits to Oman were tasters for a longer trip. Now I know Lawrence of Arabia was not supposed to be a pleasant person, but I could do with my own model of him to accompany me. Perhaps I ought to go back to Tremadog where he was born and put an ad in the local Post Office: Modern Lawrence of Arabia needed to look after daft woman in the desert. Somehow I don't think there would be too many takers!!

Does anybody know the film
where two men had a fight over the roof of Grand Central Station? I was trying so hard to remember it and casually drop it into the conversation. However,.... the building is amazing and so clean. In fact the whole of the city was incredibly clean, there were people everywhere sweeping up any rubbish - and this at all times of the day. They must be so pleased with the effect it has on visitors, let alone the New Yorker's own pride in their city. People just didn't drop litter, they used the bins. Now when are we going to manage this in the UK?
People seem averse to walking a few yards to put rubbish in bins and councils appear not to want to provide them. Perhaps some zero tolerance is needed on this front?
Back to the station, what a wonderful place to meet someone, I think one of my 'things to do in life' must be to arrange to meet a friend there. Near the central information desk with the clock on top. Hmmm, I feel a list coming upon me!
What are the ten things in life that you want to do so that in old age you have some wonderful memories to draw upon? Hearing my baby's heart beat when 3 months pregnant was definitely one of the most exciting - that journey is still providing new experiences. The terracotta army was weird, I felt they were somnolent men waiting for the order to march. In fact during my visit, I went back to see them to check they were still there!!! What are the experiences on your wish list?

Back home again.
My legs are sighing with relief that I am not going to spend another day marching after Rupert in New York, the rest of me is very upset. I have fallen in love with that city, it is very special. The good news is that I have a very good reason to go back, the Museum of Modern Art was not finished so I shall have to go back to see all the paintings that I want to view and that will take several days. Then I need to go to the Guggenheim as well, so many things to see!
The Trip up to the top of the tower was frankly terrifying. I didn't mind looking out through the windows, but going out and looking was definitely a 'hold my hand job' which had Rupert rolling the down isles and throwing words like 'Wooose' in my direction. I thought I was extremely controlled when the lifts were stopped by the firemen and a helicopter buzzed us. It is not what you want to see when you are on the top of the city's tallest building - and I have just remembered what it is called.... The Empire State Building!
Words and names often go walkies from my vocabulary, so Hot Dogs became cooked dogs at the beginning of the Knicks match at Madison Gardens. Not my finest hour that!!! The match was great, I loved the chanting 'Defence! Defence!'
Words came to mind extremely quickly when I arrived home to find the electricity off and my freezer, fridge etc all totally defrosted. Well at least there is no doubt what I shall be doing tomorrow instead of ordering pancakes and bacon.
******** **** ****

The Big Apple
It really is big! We are here in Manhatten, staying in a wonderful place - The University Club. (Firend, it is just the right place to be, 200 yards from Manola's shop, over the road from Gucci and just about 100 yards from Tiffany. You would be in seventh heaven!)
For those who don't know, I am here with my son on a long week-end. He is six foot tall with long legs, I am four inches shorter and don't walk too fast - correction, didn't walk too fast! We have walked miles in the two days that we have been here. I have been introduced to the diner where he has breakfast before running the marathon; the tree which supported him through a bad attack of cramp on his second run, the rise in the track beside Central Park which almost finished him off, I think you get the picture? I have walked a marathon and am feeling shattered!
I love it though, there are so many places which are so different and have lots of character. We found a buttonshop today which was selling Chinese buttons for $600 a set.... we passed on those! The MOMA shop is superb and I have bought far too much there. The Museum is just across from the club so I want to come back when it reopens here, there are so many paintings I want to see.
As for the tick list, it has been severely savaged. Most of the 'things to do' have been seen to, including ones which I didn't know about. Like learning how to cross the road - safely! Seeing the steam rise from the manhole covers, finding those chimneys which stick up beside a road and also release steam into the atmosphere. We have sat on the floor of the Grand Central Station Concourse and watched people walk by, what a fantastic place to meet someone!
Perhaps the poignant thing we have witnessed were the roses on the barrier in front of Ground Zero. Valentine's Day must be very hard for some people who still live and work nearby. It has an aura of great sadness.

Ouch!
Tonight it has to be the night I become a laundress. Am I ready to pack my clothes for New York?? Hah! Since when have I ever been a person who is organised? I have the tickets and the passport, the coat and boots, some shoes some trousers and I think I might just have to buy a jumper out there. The last one I bought abroad was in Xian and I love it. It is soft cashmere, very warm and with quite a striking design. Let's see what NY has to offer.
I am already getting an attack of the jitters about the Empire State Building - does Ru know how tightly I can hold onto a man when I am up high(Behave!!). Another parents' evening tomorrow so I might not blog before I go, but then I might do it instead of the ironing!!

Spring, spring, spring!
Daffodils, crocuses, snowdrops, several shrubs, a clematis and the most wonderfully scented daphne - they are all flowering in the garden. The living rooms are full of the sweet smell from daphne, she smells just like a very expensive perfume. Bliss.....

This week is a four clip board week
Well tomorrow we have the County science adviser in to observe lessons. She is convinced that we are not allowing the short people to do anything by way of practical science. This has been her hobby horse for many years, the only problem is that she is talking from a prepared script and does not look at what our plans say. So, tomorrow is science, Wednesday is maths, Thursday is Literacy and Friday is the top notch lady doing independent skills. Hmmm, of course we have never ever tried to make our pupils independent workers.... now where is my sign which says Bang Head Here? Must take it out of the cupboard and show it prominently for this week.
Roll on New York and some fun with Ru, what is more, roll on the gin and tonics in the University Club on Fifth Avenue. What do I need to pack? Just passport, tickets and knickers should do. Now where are they?

I felt like....
being one of those silly people, jumping up and down and photographing myself. Why?
Well, yesterday I walked over the Millennium Bridge in London to get to the Tate Modern. On my own. No-one was holding my hand or pushing me. Only my children will know how much that cost me emotionally.
It was pouring down with rain and a tremendous wind howled across the bridge, but that meant that I could walk in the middle so that I could focus on the other bank and try to kid myself there was no water under neath. When both children were young we used to go shopping in Shrewsbury and often parked by the English Bridge. We then crossed the river by means of a bouncy bridge; it was Rupert's and Livvy's joy to run ahead and jump up and down then wait for me to turn green as the vibrations worked their way back towards me.
The engineers seem to have done their job perfectly, not a single wobble came my way and I even walked back over the bridge. It was brilliant, the view was superb, I actually enjoyed the walk and did not have the panic attack that usually accompanies these silly activities!
Through the pouring rain I saw the Globe Theatre, I hadn't realised it was so close to the Tate, so after my delicious lunch (always good in the cafe at the Tate) I went around the theatre. It was the highlight of my day, we had a wonderfully actressy guide who called us all dahlings and camped up the tour. I must see about going to a performance there, perhaps I might even enjoy it! Stratford and Shakespeare was always a bit too much for me, but then I have not yet grown into plays! Poetry? Just getting there, but I am nowhere near enjoying plays.
The sun in the main entrance of the Tate was spectaular, that alone was worth the trip down for the day. They are making that whole area smokey and the only form of light is from the sun - apart from all the camera flashes. It really is incredible, and something that you need to look at from all angles. I am beginning to like moving pictures... I wonder where that field of sheep is - the one with words on their back that you can use to make changing poems.... Perhaps after New York I will go and look for them!